all time high

the stress hit its all time high again.. and my mind is literally blank at this moment !!!

GASP!

I'm prepared to draw tortise on every page of my scripts lah.... :(

thank you...

thank you, dan ho, for asking :)

it means a lot to me, especially when I'm already worn out and discouraged. that little sms is a booster.

in case you are still wondering, you are the first and only one who asked. I'm may not have to confidence to pass them this time round, but I'll still do what i can to get it through. :)

to love and to be loved

"I think everyone who allows themselves to honestly be loved is going to be wounded. Your life is a gift, and out of gratitude to God you should go our there and live. And when it's all over, you're gonna be pretty wounded. And I hope that you're hurt because people have loved you, not because they have used you." - Rich Mullins

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken." - C.S. Lewis

you won't relent

by Misty Edwards

You won’t relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
I’ll set you as a seal, upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love, that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters, cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until you and I are one

I don’t wanna talk about you like you’re not in the room
I wanna look right at you, wanna sing right to you

psalm 142

1 I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

2 I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.

3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.

4 Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.

5 I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."

6 Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.

7 Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.

If the rubbish bin which I saw is meant to be for me, then so be it .. sigh.

a quick one before hiatus

It's that four-letter word of the year again and I've got two weeks more before I start to draw tortoise on my answer scripts... sigh.

It's official. I have just started my spinal rehab therapy session at spinetrends. My spine is in the degenerating process, and it has reached level 2 out of 3. Don't have a choice here. I do not want to suffer later and pay more for my medical expenses when I can try to rectify the problem by slowing down the degenerative process.

And this is official too. I'm now 88kg ... 2kg lighter in 2 months ... thanks to Agel FIT!!!! WOOHOO!!!! You must try it, man!

I told my boss that I'm not intending to sign on the dotted line after my contract ends in March next year. I pray I'm making a right decision here. Told God to stop if He intends for me to continue, but I wish I don't have to. I'm embarking on Agel business thingy which I hope it will give me more free time, not to slack but to embark on mission trips, studies .. and perhaps DTS course with YWAM, if they still want to accept this old man as their student.

I don't have any energy left to continue in serving the youth ministry. I felt very ineffective somehow. Maybe I needed to refresh myself? Maybe it's time to move on? Maybe it's just part and parcel of the package in serving Him? For now, I don't know. I really don't know.

If my hiatus takes a wee bit too long, I may just be gone for good. Not to worry, you won't miss me.

what would you do?

What would you do when a person says that he or she does not believe in God or find Him real, even he or she knows that God is there, and has experienced His love, grace and mercy? What would you do when a person insists that God must give them what they pray for and reject Him when He does not? What would you do when they choose to bear all the pain and anger, suppress them in their hearts and not willing to let go?

What would you do ....?

I have already shared enough. They have heard it all ... perhaps all too many times. I shall keep quiet but pray that God will do whatever it takes to bring them back to Him, even if it means afflictions.

Heartless? It may sound that way. But if you look at how God had dealt with His people in the old testament, He brought afflictions to His people, because He loved them and wanted them to turn to Him when they were totally broken.

I would rather that they are completely broken, feel the lack and the desperation for God, rather than hearts being hardened and eyes being blinded by the works of Satan who comes to seek, to kill and to destroy.

AH CHOOOOOO...

Sigh, my nose is running wild again. :(