Sunday, December 30, 2007

how can i ...

while (cow <> come home)
{ sing "How can I keep from singing Your praise";
sing "How can I ever say enough";
sing "How amazing is Your love";
sing "How can I keep from shouting Your name";
sing "I know I am loved by the King";
sing "And it makes my heart want to sing";
}

That song had been playing in my head for the past week as my personal thanksgiving, that was even before I realized that coos youth service was using it as the thanksgiving song for the year 2007 ...

And right till this moment, it is still playing non-stop in my head.

I think I'm going nuts! ... and for that, thank Yooooou ... and it makes my heart want to ... how can I keep from singing Your praise ....

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Sunday, December 23, 2007

undeserving

Really, I don't deserve this. My heart nearly skipped a beat when I looked at my results via the portal.

I knew I did not have much time to prepare and I could only tackle about 3.5 questions out of 5. I thought I would just give it up first, and try again next year ... but I decided to give it a shot, as it was still better than not trying to scribble something at all, and to offer the best I could to Him.

The results came out on Friday 2pm. But I didn't have time to look at it as I was already on my way to Pasir Ris for cell chalet with my kids who ran most of the show and waking up most of the neighbourhood in the middle of the nights. I just remembered when I'm doing some reading for my essay at starbucks valleypoint. I was expecting a D or D- or worse. I got B- instead.

His love and faithfulness never fails.

What else can I say, except thank You, Dad .. :)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

thank you .. part 4!

To ah galv, ah ray, mattyflower, char, jq - thank you people :), I knew this would happen somehow ... already smelled it evolving when ah galv first suggested meeting up for dinner gathering. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all once again :). One thing for sure, we must still meet during CNY for the ORH-NEEEE and the MEE SIAM!!!! :P

Ah Ray popped this question on the events or things which I can thank God for in 2007. I had to pause a bit because there's so much to give thanks to God for but didn't know how to start. They are not all the big life-changing events, but many are the small little things that came across my path. Getting myself back to full-time work so as to jog my brain is one of them, having a bunch of colourful colleagues and my direct boss who is so motherly is another, not crashing into any cars or pedestrian or having another vehicle bump into me whenever I'm driving is also another one, seeing all the youths I know who are growing up physically and spiritually is something I also want to thank Him for, seeing Keagan's hands actually grew in length before my eyes after he was been prayed for by the visiting speaker/pastor, receiving notes of encouragements thru smses ... they were just some of the things I want to thank God for ... and many many more. It's just undescrible.

And no, I have not forgotten to thank God for you all - ah galv, ah ray, mattyflower, char, jq. Our friendship has never been by chance, but it's really by His divine appointment and grace. That's one of the things I can thank God for, not just 2007 but the rest of my life. :)

Last but not least, thank You ... You made the greatest impact in my life. :)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

thank you - part 3

to grace yang - thank you for maintaining contact even our last trip to east timor was two years ago. You still "remembered" my hatchday :) ... I'll let you know when my church is organizing additional trips back there next year and see if you are keen to join in. By the way, please don't peep into the UniSIM exam system and tell me how I've failed miserably on my module.

to all my kids from the sec 1/sec 2 cell group - eh, you really don't have to sing the song in the auditorium after the service ... but still, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. I'll miss you all for sure, but let's have a good time when we gather for our cell chalet session from next Friday to Sunday. ok? :)

Thursday, December 13, 2007

thank you ... part 2

rachel chia and gibson - tks .. not late at all :)

364 days to another annual increment of one in age, but time flies ... so that's bad enough.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

thank you

Ok, You won. You proved me wrong ... :)

It's past midnight now and one day has passed ... Thank you, thank you, thank you to all my fellow friends (in no particular chronological order)
- ernie lee (coos youth)
- gideon chew (coos youth) : thank you for your affirmation, means a lot to me, take care of yourself when u r in thailand, ok? :)
- michelle (coos youth)
- grace ong (coos youth)
- simon (coos youth)
- siew lee and lishan (coos): hey, thank you for the photo greeting all the way from Dili, East Timor. Reached my mailbox on time too. My heart is stirred once again :)
- daniel lee (coos)
- chui lee (coos)
- gary leong
- foong yin : you got your coffee treat fulfilled hor :)
- edlyn (mmccl) : i think i have yet to help you deco up mmccl for xmas hor :P
- hock soon and kim hong (dsta) : thankeww for the dinner :)
- jane goh (dsta)
- karoline (dsta)

... finally, thank You. :)

Hmmm, how did you guys sniff out my birth date ah?

Monday, December 10, 2007

41 years

Spent part of my evening alone by the bank of Singapore River doing some reflections.

41 years has passed. I can feel drained and tired. I find myself quite unteachable at times, blow up easily when provoked, hard to open up or to share my thoughts with others even I wanted to be open. I want to love others the way God loves them, but sometimes I just don't know how to do it. Sometimes, I don't think I know myself anymore or why I'm here at all. On the outside, I may look ok, but inside me, I'm just as human, lonely, fragile and emotional, longing to love and to be loved too, but do not want to be hurt. Sometimes, I just don't know what to do anymore.

I still want a change within me, a change to be fruitful, to love Him as best as I can though I cannot outcome His gift of love. Let the rest of my life be fruitful and not wasted.

Dad, please continue to show me how.

And I don’t even know who I am anymore.
God I’m praying through the tears,
Let me make up all these years.
Oh have I waited too long?
Can I start again?
To be the man You’ve wanted of me.
I’m begging You to show me,
But do You even know me anymore?

parting shot



Almost all turned up for cell and we managed to have this photo shoot. They were like my sons and daughters (including my assistants too). I'll miss them all after the end of this year. My assistants will take over as full-fledged cell leadership from me. Though there's a transition period of three months, I think the feelings may just be different. At least I think they are glad that they don't have to listen to this naggy old man anymore.

Time to retire or time to take on higher challenge?

Saturday, December 08, 2007

xmas gathering of my juniors



Not all were able to come for this almost-all-guys night's outing but still it was quite a good turnout, chionging buffet spread and talking all kind of rocks around the table until past midnight. Once my juniors, now all-grown-up ... gavin is a father-to-be working as a horizon scanner, dehui (soon to be married) and furball are doctors, dexiong earning big bucks, callan's still working as a guardian in the network security, garreth is earning big bucks as a fund manager ... and I'm still washing floor, washing toilet bowls.

But it was an honour to see them through the process of growing up, and though I don't see them often nowadays, I can still say that I'm proud of them all ... :)

And I'm reminded again that I'm not getting younger any more ...

terminal 3






Finally, had the opportunity to tour around Terminal 3 during its open house with my bunch of colleagues on Thursday afternoon.

Overall, it has that metallic feel, but it's a beauty alright.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

endurance

Now, I am really truly zombified now after surviving more than 36 hours without sleep. At my age, it's a real challenge to stay awake. But after I take a bath, I should zonk out on my bed.

But talking about these marathon runners, I see them having lots of endurance in trying to finish the race which they signed up for. Sounds so much like 2 Tim 4:7.

Anyway, to my fellow buddies and comrades from zone 3 and the responder unit (I know some of you have managed to find my blog), it's been a real pleasure and honor in meeting up with you and joining you in this medical coverage .... and please don't ask me to drive that alpha 5791 again :P.





Saturday, December 01, 2007

legacy

Yesterday was the day that the five rowers were cremated. According to news, more than a thousand people turned up. I believed the emotions in the air were high, many heartaches and hardly a dried eye. Many eulogies have labelled them as filial sons, role models, fighters with a never-say-die attitude. They died for their love and passion as dragon-boat rowers and with a fighting spirit. This has inspired other sportsmen to do likewise. In their own life, they pursued their other passions - for Reuben, he composed his own music and they were really beautiful written. Many artistes in the arts and music industry also mourned the loss. For Stephen, it was about grooming the youths in the schools he taught, empowering them and giving them hope - his testimonies could be seen through the praises from his students and how they tried to cope to contain their grief but some just broke down.

The five rowers had left their own legacies which inspired many others to follow and uphold.

It's sad. But life must go on and people must still press on to live their life to the fullest.

I was and still am deeply saddened by the loss, but l am very inspired by them. What I envy most about them is that they got to accomplish many things they wanted to achieve or do in their short lifetime, as compared to the little I did after all these years.

Just this evening, I was reading this article by Joe Stowell in "Strength For The Journey". It's about leaving a legacy and I loved how he wrote it:

Do you ever wonder what kind of legacy you’ll leave behind?

I remember an older gentleman from one of the churches I pastored. He was the epitome of grace toward others; and he was deeply loved by his wife, his daughters, and his sons-in-law. In fact, his sons-in-law kneeled by his bed as he died. Afterward, one of his daughters wrote me a letter. At the end of the note, she concluded with these powerful words: “Our world has lost a righteous man, and in this world, that’s no small thing.”

I love the legacy expressed in those simple words from the pen of an admiring daughter. It reminds me of the heart of Paul as he wrote to his friend Timothy. Paul had expended himself in the service of Christ and had a keen sense that he was nearing the end of his life. We know from his writings to other churches that he was not afraid of death. In fact, he clearly stated that if he were absent from the body, he would be present with the Lord (1 Corinthians 5:3). The resurrection had defeated the sting of death (15:55), and Paul couldn’t wait to meet his Savior.

As Paul pondered the end of his life, he made three very simple statements about his legacy. He had “fought the good fight”—standing firm as a spiritual warrior, clothed in the armor of God, faithfully defending the truth of the gospel. He had “finished the race”—ensuring in the process that he was neither disqualified nor disheartened in the marathon of life and ministry. Most importantly, he had “kept the faith” —remaining true, committed, and loyal to the One who rescued him from sin and darkness.

Notice that Paul’s brief statements here say nothing about the education he had received, the places he had traveled, the letters he had written, the people he had preached to, or the churches he had planted. He flat out wanted his legacy to be labeled as “faithful.” I love that! It’s what I want to aspire to as a follower of Jesus.

So, I have to ask myself, “If that’s the kind of legacy I want to leave, how would I pursue it today?” Well, it means that my choices need to be more about “fighting the good fight.” I need to put on the spiritual armor each morning, as Paul told the Ephesians to do, and live to be victorious in all that comes my way. I need to be running the race to win, putting off all that hinders and the sins that entangle (Hebrews 12:1). And, it means that in every situation I want my attitudes, my words, and my actions to be loyal and true to Jesus.

As Paul told the Philippians, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (3:13-14). There’s no better time than the start of this New Year to set our sights on new goals that will, over time, develop a legacy worth leaving.

Building a legacy worth leaving behind begins today and is made one decision at a time. Live this year to hear Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” In my book, that’s a legacy worth living for!

What legacy you would like to leave? How does that compare to Paul’s desired legacy expressed in 2 Timothy 4?

What type of legacy will the current choices and priorities of your life lead to? Are there some changes that need to take place today to move you back toward a legacy of faithful service to Christ?


I don't know when I'll leave this world, I may not have much time left though ... but while I'm still alive, I might as well learn to leave a legacy before I depart quietly from here ... a legacy not filled with all my personal achievements, my glory and honour because I don't deserve them at all ... but a legacy completely like Paul's, which sums up pretty nicely in Rich Mullins' words (I know I have written these quite a number of times in my journal) - if my life is motivated by my ambition to leave a legacy, what I'll probably leave as a legacy is ambition. But if my life is motivated by the power of the Spirit in me - if I live with the awareness of the indwelling Christ, if I allow His presence to guide my actions, to guide my motives, those sorts of things. That's the only time that I think we really leave a great legacy.